Yesterday I saw something that I don't think I will ever forget. It happened in one of those moments where I realized how precious life is and the love that we find and give to other people.
I was walking out of Ikea, still laughing about my 6 inch hot dog, when I noticed a beautiful young couple and their two young children. The kids were running ahead toward the exit; the dad shouting for them to slow down, and the mother slowly moving behind. It looked like any other family except for one thing: the mother was in a wheel chair and could not move her body and did not have any legs.
But she was beautiful. Her long blonde hair had been neatly curled and pulled back in a styling flower-clip. Her face, despite being lopsided, glowed and was completely made up. I was instantly drawn to this family, as the father wanted to catch up to his running children, yet was loyal and walked near his wife. I thought about the fact that she did look so beautiful, yet her arms were stuck near her trunk and I would be very surprised that she had the ability to put on make-up. Her husband did it for her because he knew she wanted to feel beautiful.
I can't help but think about families like this. How did she get hurt? Where was he when he found out? What kind of experiences will those kids have as compared to their peers? What is their love life like? Did people try to talk him into leaving her? Will he one day? Does she feel like she could understand if he did?
But from what I could tell, none of those questions mattered. The family, despite its obvious trials, were enjoying a day of shopping just like any other family. It was obvious that the husband love his wife dearly and was determined to not let her feel any more pain than she already had. Perhaps those children will grow up better than kids who have active moms in their lives just because they had a real, true example of unconditional love.
When I see these heart-breaking, yet beautiful families, I realize how grateful I am for everything I have. I have a job. I have a new nephew. I have a fiancée who I know would always stay with me. I have parents and sisters and a brother-in-law who sacrifice for me. I have education. I have my religion. I have freedom. Shame on me for ever feeling sorry for myself. Shame on me for ever feeling scare of the future, when I have such an amazing life now and I don't want to waste a second of it.
I am sure that family doesn't want my pity. It doesn't want me to be comparing myself to it. I am sure that they feel grateful for their wife and mother to be alive and they are physically able to help her out. And that is what makes me feel grateful most of all.
What makes me so sad is that I don't think most of us would have had this kind of empathy with this woman had she not been judged by beauty norms to be so attractive. I say this as someone who is disabled, has been in a wheelchair, and has experienced a kind of bizarre treatment where others try to soothe their anxiety by stressing how GOOD i look, as though that somehow makes a disability or chronic pain more bearable. For them, perhaps it does.
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