Weddings are beautiful. Weddings are romantic. Weddings are one of the most awkward social gatherings known to mankind. And what makes a typical wedding even more awkward? Being the uninvited guest that nobody knows and few care to get to know.
I spent the last weekend accompanying my sister, Brooke, in a trip to Idaho. One of her best friends was getting married and since I rarely get to spend time with her, we figured I should join her for the ride and catch up.
But from the time the wedding festivities started, and until the end, I just felt like a disfigured animorph sitting in a crowd of a Utopian society. Before dinner at the bride's parents' home was ready, I took a nap in the guest room. I did not sleep long because kids kept coming in thinking I was there mom (I wasn't. That would make me a momimorph. Small joke). Then at dinner all of these kids kept staring at me, and I kept staring at them because they were funny and entertaining and I could divert myself from forcing conversation with the adults. I wanted to tell them that I wasn't a creep, but that I work at a day care and that I find prepubescent culture fascinating. Somehow I knew that would make things worse, so I just sat there and tried not to stare.
Brooke introduced us to the wedding party and for the rest of the evening, she said things like "she is my sister" or "she loves frog eye salad." I swear, people thought "she" was a mute. A mute eating all of their food.
The next day I was babysitting two infants whom I can confidentally declare did not find me the least bit creepy. But in the same room were the eight kids from the day before. There was no way to avoid feeling like a creep. I obviously looked like an adult and should thus be at the wedding. Since I am not, I must be an an adult reject. Which kids know is the one thing worse than a child reject. But we were stuck in a room no bigger than the size of the average college student's kitchen, and I was just looking at babies. They are boring. So I watched the kids. And at one point I was trying to help an older sister keep her younger brother quiet, but she completely ignored me. Reject adult? You bet.
Finally the wedding festivities were coming to an end. I was eating at the luncheon when I felt a little tap on my shoulder so I looked back. I caught the eye of one of the little girls who immediately looked away and ran. I glanced over and a group of little kids were just staring atme. Something was going on. I stood up to leave and a few kids were walking back and forth behind me. I gave one of them a slightly annoyed "what are you doing" look. They giggled and walked away.
By now I am just frustrated. If there is one thing I hate more than secrets, it is little girls thinking they are hilarious for their secrets. I know it is pathetic, but I guess it just reminds me of my won catty elementary school days.
Brooke and I were about to leave and were packing food for the road. An elderly lady says to me, "I don't know if you know this, but there is a piece of tape on your back. Let me help you."
That was it. Some bad-a child dared another bad-a to put a piece of tape on my back. It was kinda funny. It kinda hurt. I mean, I didn't ask to me the creepy weirdo adult/child (childimorph?). But then again, I can not blame them. I probably would have done the same thing. Just more bad-a, like a 'kick me' sign.
No comments:
Post a Comment