Things Don't Happen For a Reason

I was going to title this post, "Things Don't Happen For a Reason, but Reason Can be Found in Things That Happen." but I figured that not only was that too long, but it was getting too philosophical with no explanation that it would just be a turn off to my two readers. And those two readers are vital to my success, so I don't dare say anything that might turn them off.

Yeah, I really don't believe that things happen for a reason. And I know this is totally controversial to all the people who believe that so many things happen for a reason, but it really just does not make sense to me. Do not get me wrong here. I am not saying that we should not try to make sense of our worlds. Rather, I am saying that so many things happen that are outside our control, and that so many things we choose could have turned out differently had we chosen the alternative, that it just doesn't make sense that things would happen for a reason, like it is our fate.

For example, there have been two times where I was leaving work and missed the bus and had to take the later bus. Both of those bus rides amounted to some of the most memorable bus rides. One, I basically helped a woman on drugs take care of her daughters, since she seemed to be completely confused on how to entertain them for a bus ride. The second time, I got talking with a Native American man who had been an alcoholic for 10 years and was soon homeless, wifeless and daughter-less. After being involved with Alcoholic Anonymous and changing a whole lot of things in his life, he is now currently working to save his second marriage.

Most likely neither of these experiences had a huge impact on any of the parties involved. But to me, I treasure them simply because they remind me of how lucky I have been and because they interrupted the mundane tasks of the day. Perhaps, these encounters did change the people involved. Maybe the mother felt motivated to get some help so she could be more involved in her daughter's life, or maybe the man, knowing of my impending marriage, felt even more motivated to take care of his wife. Either way, I don't believe it was destiny. I missed a bus because the cross walks from work to the bus stops were the orange hand, instead of the walking man. They did not all just realign for me because they knew I had to meet these people. But I am not cynical. I am grateful that I missed those buses because I will have the memories of those rides. I couldn't tell you what I missed back at home because of my half hour delay. But I could tell you that I had the chance to help someone, and learn and experience an interesting conversation from someone else.

Kindness

Lately I have been overwhelmed by how kind people have been to my husband and me. Honestly, in the last few weeks, I have realized how good of friends I have.

Two days prior to my getting married, my friends threw me a bridal shower. It was beautiful. They invited all of my friends, even ones they did not know or care for much, and put so much thought into everything. It was decorated beautifully with streamers and balloons, and there was so much food I thought I was going to explode. They bought prizes for winners of games and just made everyone, especially me, so comfortable. I was touched by not only the thought put into the party, but the thought and generosity put into the gifts from all of the guests. One of the hostesses actually just came by and gave me a beautiful cross stitching with the words, "Orr Family" on it and a beautiful picture of a flower.

At my shower, I was blessed to have my friends closest to me, and my friends not so close to me come. That later group touched me especially, as they were so much fun and I could just tell how happy they were for me. It was so special. I love it when I can feel closeness from people whom I usually don't feel it from. For example, one of the guests at our reception was my best friend from elementary school, and aside from an occasional hello on Facebook, we really haven't talked much in the last six years or so. But she and her mom came to my reception, stayed the whole time and just seemed genuinely happy for me. I absolutely loved that.

My mom made my wedding dress in less than two weeks and it is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. Two weeks before the wedding, I was going to buy my dress, but I changed my mind after a really cool experience. I love my mom; she is one of the kindest, good, and hard working people I have ever met. But she has never really been the emotional/passionate type like my dad and I are. But when she found out that I was going to buy the dress, it really hurt her. And it surprised me that it hurt her. And it surprised her that it hurt her. And I realized that there have been only a few times in my life where I can really emotionally connect with my mom, and sometimes I realize how much I want that. So I had her make my dress because it meant so much to me to have something mean so much to her. And it was gorgeous and I am so happy that she was willing to give me that gift.

While moving into our apartment, random strangers have just offered to carry stuff for us up our three-story apartment. When we first got home from our honeymoon, we were greeted with a cooler full of food: pizzas, milk, muffins, drinks, candy, sunflower seeds. Turns out my sister and her husband left it there for us. It was small, but we were stressed with trying to figure out some food at midnight in Provo. Just this evening, our friends in our apartment made us dinner just because they knew we were missing a bunch of stuff from our apartment.

I feel so blessed with friends, family and strangers who have helped Landon and me over the last few weeks. It has been so overwhelming and so great, that I have barely touched on the different acts of service. From throwing Landon a surprise birthday party, to hosting and planning two gorgeous receptions, to designing cakes and power points, to giving us very generous gifts, the people in our lives have been very kind.